Lou Dobbs is half right: Close the other border!!!

Okay, I'm the last one who would argue a hard-line stance on immigration, but in this one particular case, I'm making an exception. There is a real problem with immigrants in my neighborhood, and it's driving me crazy. I'm talking about all the GAY MALE FRENCH-CANADIANS who have invaded Chelsea!!!

Calling them arrogant and obnoxious is the only way I can describe why they bother me so. Yes, it is a sweeping generalization, but in my highly scientific observations, I know this one to be true. Every time I'm at the gym, there's one on his cell phone, in the locker room, having a really LOUD conversation while everyone else gets to listen. You notice groups of them at crowded local restaurants, talking for HOURS after they've finished their meals, while other patrons huddle in the cold, waiting for tables. Just today, as I popped into the local grocery store to get three items, there was one going through the 10-items-or-less line with 23 - YES, TWENTY-FUCKING-THREE, I COUNTED - items, who then made us all wait while he used the ATM because, malheureusement, he'd forgotten he had no cash. But it's ce n'est pas grave to him, right? I wanted to kick him in the squish!

The guy who lives across the hall from me is a prime example. For the first year we lived here, I was nothing but nice. If I noticed him behind me as I was entering the courtyard to my building, I'd hold the gate for him. If I saw him in the hallway, I'd say "Hi." If I saw him on the street, I'd smile and nod. NOT ONLY, did he never reciprocate, but his face usually contorted into a look that I would more likely expect if I'd just fired a snot rocket onto his lower lip. At this point, I just ignore him and get a silent satisfaction when I let the the gate shut and hear him digging for his keys...

I can already hear the protestations of my gay bretheren: "BUT THEY'RE HOT!" And, yes, this is true. But there are so many hot foreigners in New York who are NICE that I just can't excuse their arrogance because of their hotness. You CAN be hot and nice... And you can go visit Montreal, if you really must, my friends...

So, please, take down the fence along our border with Mexico and put one up at our border with Quebec. For reals, yo. I'm so serial.